Starting in 1990 through about 2003, my husband, Gordon, played the caregiver in our family because I suffered with terrible, life-altering cases of Fibromyalgia (FMS) and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). He washed clothes, cleaned the house and cooked meals.
Much of the time I was too sick to do even menial chores. We got by because he was willing to work overtime at work and overtime at home pitching in. I will stay eternally grateful to him for his patience, persistence, sacrifice and love.
Now that I'm much, much improved, he still helps out a bit because I stay busy working on the Health Matters Show and finishing a new book. Plus, I think he never wants to see me that sick again. However, in the last few years, his career has demanded more of his time and attention, therefore he has less and less of it to give....
The other day in a post, I mentioned that Gordon underwent major surgery to have his left kidney removed due to a mass, which turned out to be renal cell carcinoma. The doctor believes he removed all of the cnacer and my husband should have no further trouble. After five tough days in the hospital, Gordon finally is back home. It was during the time that I scurried around with different kinds of errands that I realized how upside down our life will be for awhile. Our roles are reversed; I'm now his caregiver.
So as we go through this experience over the next few weeks and months, I will post what it's like to be a caregiver with such mundane info as the activity required of a caregiver to the mix of emotions that suddenly flood and overtake a room (when caregiver and sick person collide). If you've been through this type of experience, you know what I mean.
Right now, while you're thinking of it, hit the comment button and send me your thoughts-- no matter whether you're "receiving" the care or "giving" it. If you input your experiences and share with others, you'll get a lot out of this and learn so much faster because there will be input from others. Plus, what you say might help other people going through the same or similar situations. (Feel free to leave your first name only. What you post in the comment section will be copied to the blog.)
Either send me your thoughts and questions here by "commenting" or go to one of the audio input boxes on the front page of the blog, dial in and speak your thoughts or questions.
It's really easy and your opinions and thoughts count for so much! I really want to hear from you and get your take on this subject. It's one most of us have to deal with sooner or later in life-- the role of the caregiver.
You, I, everyone wants to learn how to survive this ordeal and come out on the other side being healthy and having a healthy support system.
Thanks, Cinda Crawford, host of the Health Matters Show
Comments (2)
I think your husband should consider low dose naltrexone. Hopefully they have got the cancer out in its entirety, but there are never any guarantees. Taking LDN would increase the chances of him being able to live the rest of his life cancer-free. It is safe, inexpensive and usually causes no side effects, so I don't see any reason not to use it.
I wish you both strength, for him with his recovery and for you in your new role. I don't have much to say about your actual question/prompt. I've always had to be the caregiver for myself, for my partner when he's been ill with acute illnesses (nothing serious, just colds, flus, stomach bugs, sprained ankles and such) and for several other people to an lesser extent. Luckily I've always had friends to help me out some.
My friend who has very severe CFS/ME used to be a carer for the disabled (people with MS) when she was younger and not so ill. Now, she has had to rely on a professional carer for some 1.5 years (some of her relatives also help). She finds it very humiliating. I'm doing my best to help her get her life back, but it is proving difficult. The lack of funds for treatment does not really help.
Posted by Maija Haavisto | July 13, 2008 11:22 AM
Posted on July 13, 2008 11:22
Hello, Maija,
Thanks for your reply. I looked up Naltrexone and according to "Low Dose Naltrexone Homepage," at http://www.lowdosenaltrexone.org/, they offer the following info about Naltrexone:
FDA-approved naltrexone, in a low dose, can boost the immune system — helping those with HIV/AIDS, cancer, autoimmune diseases, and central nervous system disorders.
This is news to me. I haven't known anyone who used it, but I see why you picked up on this with the mention of cancer. I'll keep it in mind. Hopefully, there is little chance that the renal cell carcinoma will re-occur in him because it was caught at a beginning stage of growth, was well confined within the kidney area and there was no evidence of metastasis. Of course, that's no guarantee. The nephrologist told me that in his experience nothing really works against Renal Cell Carcinoma... not radiation, chemotherapy or immunotherapy.
My husband and I are going with lifestyle changes of more exercise (as soon as he's able), a better, more whole food diet mixing in lots of vegetables and fruits, and using energy healing tools, like the ELT (which I do).
Thanks for the info and if anyone has more comments, please give them to us!
Posted by Cinda Crawford
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July 17, 2008 1:56 PM
Posted on July 17, 2008 13:56